alone

while i've got lots of flatmates around me now that everyone has moved in, i can't help but feel more alone than when i was still putting up at my cousins's place, living and moving about in a solitary manner.

it's strange.

the more people i meet, the more lonely i feel.

i guess it's 'cos most of the connections i've made are on a more superficial level. people here are nice, but it's hard when we've got different wavelengths, so to speak. the only people i can really talk to in a normal manner are the other s'poreans. but i'm wary of hanging out too much with them, it's important to me to reach out to and mix with other people.

.

i've got one photo next to my bed. it the one of fen, ah-vette, tabi & me, taken at spe the wednesday before i left.

it cheers me up when i'm down. at the same time, it makes me miss blacks & some people more than ever.

ah-vette, you asked yourself the exact same questions i asked myself on the plane (what's the point?).

i think the point is that we've come to a point where we have to move on and leave some things behind.

nothing is forever. no not even memories.

but it also means that it won't be long before we go back. and in certain ways, that's a happy thought. :)

bish i'm rambling. i'm hungry. dinner tonight: leftover pasta from last night.

speaking of last night, some guys from the flat downstairs came up to our flat to visit after we came back from the night out.

they made so much noise outside in the corridors while i was trying to sleep. and someone upstairs was BLASTING intermittently rock & opera music.

my roommate put it well:

"welcome to london".