enquête

1) because i'm just not bothered

2) because it's just too yummy to resist

3) because i've ingested mucho caffeine today

4) because it says "dry flat"

5) because i have been too lazy

6) because at some subconscious level i fear rejection. we all do

7) because it's not so cold tonight

8) because it's true, paris je t'aime

9) because it doesn't come cheap

10) because i am woman

.

on saturday afternoon i strolled around camden's markets and took in the vibrant burst of sights and sounds. whiffs of incense from the middle east met the spicy aroma from a mexican food stall, purple-haired dreadlocked punks with black lipstick/eyeliner/nailpolish skalked past middle-aged asian tourist families

i purposely made sure i had nothing more than a few pennies on me, and walked past various cash machines with a determination that should not be underestimated

the commodification of culture in camden exudes a magnetic force - mostly an attractive one - that cannot be denied. there is something for every taste, every fancy, every niche, every kooky bit of curiosity

.

and then night falls, and i am reminded that london life is harsh and unforgiving for many. a perfectly normal-looking woman carrying a dog under her arm walks past me as i cross at a traffic light; i see her muttering to herself every 2 seconds, but it is only when i pass within earshot that i realise she is derangedly repeating to herself, "she looks like a wh*re doesn't she, yeah she looks like a wh*re....". to no one in particular

slightly unnerved, i continue into the night, heading towards my friend's flat for a typical house party. i walk past another woman who is hurrying along with what looks like a bag of groceries; unlike the previous woman, this one looks a lot... rougher, an older woman with a short boyish haircut, leather jacket and dyed greyish-white hair. she is talking constantly to herself as well, and i can't help but hear the words "...this shitty f***ing &^@*#^@ life..." as she blusters by

by this time, i am tempted to just give up and go home, home to a warm, happy flat, where i know i will want for nothing

instead of remaining out on the streets of a place filled with desperate souls