le weekend

it was an awesome weekend of rugby, a crazy surreal sunday night/monday morning, i am now still suffering from hangover headache and probably not in the best frame of mind for blogging.

but i just really need to vent about a couple of things.

i now finally understand them much better. not that that's actually saying anything. but at least now their frenchness + rugger combination doesn't completely blow my mind and leave me in random states of shock and bewilderment as badly as it did one year ago (gosh that seems like an eternity back..)

and then more importantly, i am disillusioned - or rather, under no more illusions. the autrefois, j'avais tel regard pour lui mais après tout ce qui s'est passé hier soir, il est comme un étranger, je ne le connais plus - non attendre, la vérité, c'est que je le connaissais jamais.

i really thought he was different, but now i can't help but think otherwise.

the only thing i'm remotely upset about is how wrong i was... feel foolish.

sometimes i think i should stop. there's no point if i get all happy when i see them, but then feel a twinge of sorrow/emptiness when i have to say bye. because more and more i realise who they are. and while it's crazy/beautiful, it ain't pretty when it's all over.