quelqu'un m'a dit

i'm going for training tomorrow at hampstead, it's about time i got back in to the swing of rugby. deep deep down there's another important reason, and i just hope this too shall pass.

it was so surreal. no it won't ever be the same again, from now on i'll always be fearing the worst, and it's eating at me. yet whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger - i'll pull through eventually i know.

i suppose what i fear most is losing control. seeing everything spiral away, the gnawing sensation of helplessness threatening to overwhelm and paralyse.

whatever.