painful curry

sarah turnbull's novel almost french: a new life in paris is still one of all-time favourites. not just because of its francophile appeal though. now that i'm a foreigner myself in a distant land i can further empathise and identify with the her feelings and the circumstances that she finds herself in.

there's this passage in the book that, with some [modification], echoes my thoughts perfectly:

"the old greek on samos island had warned me. 'it's a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures... it's a curse to love two countries.' well i certainly don't think of living abroad as a curse, and i don't think the greek believed it either. he was just dramatising his dilemma, the feeling of being torn between two places. and this is something i now understand... [london] is my actual home: it's where i live. it can pull at heartstrings with a mere walk down [tottenham court road] in the morning. but [s'pore] is the home of homesickness and my history - a powerful whirlpool of family and friends, memories and daily trivia that i used to take for granted but now seem somehow remarkable.

although i understand the [english] better now, the reality is in [england] i'm still an outsider. there seem to be so many contradictions, so many social codes for different situations that make life interesting but also leave you feeling a bit vulnerable. living in [england] requires constant effort: effort to make myself understood, effort to understand and to be alert for those cultural intricacies that can turn even going to the post office into a social adventure. yet in [s'pore] everything had seemed so familiar, so easy. i can't even explain exactly why. it was more than the relaxing effects of sun and surf and being on holiday. it was as though back in my old environment i could finally drop the guard i didn't even know i had been carrying."

.

i want to work in france some day. the question is, how?

.

"a choosier approach to aid" -> it's a mad world.

.

post-exams, i'm taking off alone to scotland. staying for a few days with my cousin in glasgow, then i shall megabus it to edinburgh dundee aberdeen perth st andrews falkland inverness.. though not in that order... then back to london about a week later.

it should be an eye-opening journey of self-actualisation.

.

i had curry in brick lane this afternoon, while on 'official business' (aka long-overdue geog walk).

i'm having roast duck in bayswater later, also on business (meeting singapore friend and his brother who are both here on backpacking holiday).

just my luck.