give me strength

to complete this hell of a (week-)overdue essay i have before me

i am weaker than i ever believed i could be

feel powerless and yet i shouldn't be, worse things happen to people

so out of control; one thing goes right and another slips away; oh why is it that i can't multi-task the way i used to anymore. i feel a mid-degree crisis has definitely come on. coupled with the other thing that's been set in motion since last august/september, i've definitely got a lethal combination surging through my veins

do you know what i'd really need now? my personal career guidance counsellor. a miraculous (or maybe not) (unspecific) windfall of sorts. my room to be completely tidy - then again it's already in a much better state that the week before. and i need to start managing rugby better

my life is hardly a tragedy it isn't. am already lucky to just be in london. so lets just hope what doesn't kill me makes me helluva lot stronger