sing a song

i was browsing through photos of the 3 of us. we looked so contented albeit tired from a night of continuous drinking - wine, beer, and more wine

despite the huge quantities of alcohol imbibed by all, and despite having fallen asleep on the couch, i still remember exactly what happened. as i always do

i remember asking jx what he thought, after the initial impression. deep down in my gut, i knew exactly what the verdict was going to be. but i was still hopeful, painfully so

he tried to be merciful, he did. he knew that his opinions were going to hurt me, more than i myself thought they would

but eventually, my persistence got the better of him

"it's not worth it", he said abruptly, as we sat in the paddington station mcdonalds, his heathrow express train just minutes away from departure

i stared at him, willing myself to comprehend his words. he repeated them for my sake, knowing only too well that nothing he said was going to change the situation. i felt tears well up in my eyes, but willed myself to stop them from making contact with the cold morning air. what use was such a display of emotion at 6am?

as we stood at the platform later, i gave him a hug and bade him farewell. as he disappeared into the train, i turned around and walked straight past the other member of our party, he upon which the verdict had cast such a dreadful light

i couldn't bring myself to look at him