flames to dust

thanks to all the shit that i've been dealing with over the last 2 years, it is no wonder that i am a very different person today from the person i was in september 2004. it is also safe to say that age has had something to do with it. i am 22 this year, i definitely don't feel that old, but if there's one thing i've learnt, it is that numbers don't lie - they may not tell the whole story, they may be especially misleading when taken out of context, but a number is a number, is a number...

but back to what i was saying... 3 years ago, when i left sg to study in london, i felt really upset about having to leave brfc. 9 months of glorious odd-shaped ball bliss, abandoned for unknown pastures. it was enough to induce bouts of tearful nostalgia..

but nowadays nostalgia and i are much more mellow. so the fact that i'm going to have to leave my uni rugby team at the end of this season is hurting, no doubt. but it is not stinging, there are no tears and there won't be any. i hope this means that i've gotten the hang of "moving on", gazing into the future rather than clinging on hopelessly to the past

.

honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
it's way too clear to me
but really life is daily
we are what we don't see
missed everything daydreaming

flames to dust
lovers to friends
why do all good things come to an end?

traveling i only stop at exits
wondering if i'll stay
young and restless
living this way i stress less
i want to pull away when the dream dies
the pain sets it and i don't cry
i only feel gravity and i wonder why
.
.
.
and the sun was wondering
if it should stay away for a day
'til the feeling went away

and the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
whistling a new tune
hoping it would come soon so that they could die

- "all good things"_nelly furtado