confessional

i have been sneaking guilty peaks at the blog of my second brother -

no wait, that is misleading

correction: i have been obsessively poring over every single word he writes, checking his blog daily for snippets of his life

under the cover of complete silence and anonymity of course. no, it would not do for me to leave a comment. a long time ago i made the tragic mistake of leaving a one-liner comment on his tagboard, thereby revealing my readership to him, and poof! almost instantaneously, there was a perceptible shift in his writing - it's almost like he clammed up and moved away from topics related to home and family life

so a few years later, i think he's of the impression that i have ceased to peruse his blog. thankfully - that old pseudo-cynical, pithy and introspective writing style is back. he writes honestly about his daily experiences, his thoughts as a 17-year-old

and what really strikes me is this: he writes really simply, but really well. much better than i could ever hope to. he has this talent for leaving out the meaningless mundane details, each post is at most 1 or 2 short paragraphs in length - short and brief, they are often cryptic, but very decipherable for me only because we've share the same codified heritage - the drama of family relationships

i am glad that despite being very much removed from my brother's life through sheer lack of effort and opportunity, i can still understand exactly the thoughts and feelings that he tries to convey through words strung together on his blog

but i still fight the temptation to leave comments. let sleeping dogs lie

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for soulful house music, listen to deepinside - thanks to yw for recommending it, i am now a complete addict to the lovely tunes~~~

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