words

i was browsing through a friend's blog today; a revelation that i treasure, seeing as we go back quite a few years now. there was a post on choices - about there seldom ever being a "right" or "wrong" choice, and how perhaps at the end of the day we should make choices based on whether or not we believe that a day will come when we will regret the decisions we have made

it struck a distinct chord with me, being eloquently expounded upon, and for a brief moment i found myself once again lost in wonderment - wondering about the sustainability of the choices i've made this past year, wondering what on earth possessed me to ever get started in the first place, wondering whether i've been so caught up with it all as to have ended up blinding myself to the high probability of future regrets

but then i wonder at my powerlessness, and the lessons learnt, and the fortification of the heart and mind that i've inadvertently bestowed (or cursed) upon myself

people talking about 2:1s, careers, about how you ought to fit a certain mould to get into one of those high-paying high-flying jobs that everyone apparently should aspire to

somehow, maybe because i've always been fortunate enough to end up with nice-enough grades and cca experiences, i always assumed that i'd just continue to keep to the path and end up wherever i was supposed to end up

a very sg way of thinking no doubt, and one that i was quick to shed soon after i came to london

but i didn't realise that i would stray so far from the path as to be lost in the woods (pardon the silly analogy)

yet there have been times this year when i've been as happy as can be, but to compensate for the rush of endorphins i've been confronted with moments so painful, yet at the end when you put everything in perspective - all things matter, and don't at the same time