we both know

i want to wake up every morning with a megawatt, honest smile on my face

.

i didn't think i'd be saying this... the truth is, i'm not glad to be leaving

.

brother 2 surprised me the other day when he offered me some chocolate

to understand this phenomenon, you have to grasp the context - me and my siblings, we are all pretty much "detached" from one another. we don't have heart-to-heart talks, we give each other cursory answers or remarks, we fight, we quarrel, we can go without talking to each other for extended periods of time

yet, underneathe it all, we know who we are in relation to each other. we know our bonds. and it shows on the rarest of occasions. like last night, when brother 1 and i jammed together with the guitar and piano. and when he came to me with his portfolio of commissioned sketches and asked for my opinion on them (they were stunning, by the way. i have no idea where bro 1's talent comes from, but it's definitely there)

or like when bro 2 came into my room 2 evenings ago out of the blue, and offered me chocolate out of the packet that he was consuming

no words were spoken (except maybe "thanks" and "yup"), but we both knew that he was being nice because the other day, i'd done the same thing - i'd offered him a pick from my stash of famous amos cookies

to borrow a line from sheryl crow,

if it makes you happy

it can't be that bad

.

and the morning is for you
and the air is free
and the birds sing for you
and your positivity

- "positivity"_suede