i was on the highway

2 months have flashed by really quickly and i can't believe i'm leaving tonight

i also can't believe how much i've changed - not during these 2 months, but over past 2 years

maybe it's what they call growing up?

nah

.

man, what a weekend
saturday night was the most fun i've had in a long while. granted, it was a tad hedonistic

oh well!

random memories:

blacks bbq
creed's my sacrifice. on repeat mode. 4 times
guinness and kilkenny
rum and coke, vodka lime
mos
farrer park (and needing to pee. o.m.g.)
one hot guy (damn he is hot)
"you are too hot for me" (hahahaha)
superman! batman! wonderwoman! spiderman!
"just relax!"
cold water
my brother
hangover. big big hangover
88
yoshinoya
big white retro earrings
mashimaro
wheelock place
camomile tea. yay
self-detrimental-ness
depravity
70
cactus road
car accident - nearly
laundry

.

the club has changed lots - i don't recognise the dynamics anymore. i think it has to do the departure of many old stalwarts, "the core" as ah-vette puts it. it's great that there is an influx of younger, new players

but i miss them. i miss the old days. it's not about feeling like a stranger or feeling alien - it's about old feelings that can no longer be recaptured, about a past that cannot be recalled upon. feels like part of me has died off, you know?

things change with time. that much i understand. i just didn't realise that certain things would become so unrecognisable

the entire time during saturday's gathering, i was haunted by a sobering thought. even though i will always identify my rugby roots with blacks, and love the club with all my rugby spirit, the club is no longer mine to love

i can only watch from afar, concentrate on my own game, and strive to do justice to the beautiful memories

.

ok back to packing. argh

here comes the sun

according to this report on bbc news, britain is in the throes of a monstrous heat wave that is threating to melt the roads, buckle the rails and paralyse the population

one ruth newton of preston (which is up north) summed it up as such:

you would think we had never seen the sun before, it's like mass panic

having lived in london for 2 years, and more importantly, having just arrived in hot and humid (gross understatement) singapore, i must say i totally empathise

scorching hot weather in the uk is vaguely akin to, say, hail and sub-10 degree-temperatures in singapore. with the kind of seasonal temperature variations in europe, that such "extreme" hot weather is met with moans and groans (and lots of sun-tanning in the park, sans chemise) cannot be directly juxtaposed with the 40++ degree-weather endured all year round in parts of, say, india or the middle east

personally, i've been back for over a week now, but i still can't take the humidity, nevermind the acclimatising effect of 19 years. i find myself sweating at all hours of the day, and instead of acquiring the sexy-oiled-skin effect à la r&b music videos, i just end up feeling sticky and icky - and due to my discomfort i certainly look it too

on the plus side, taking >2 showers a day has its therapeutic effects

.

ça fait une semaine que je suis partie de londres

et déjà je me retrouve dans cette situation, je casse la tête pour ce qui est hors de mon contrôle, j'arrête pas d'y penser malgré les bons conseils de mes proches

en même temps, si j'en avais vraiment assez, pourquoi j'accepterais toujours tout ce qui est dit? tous les mots, soit les vérités soit les mensonges, mais surtout les promesses...

je sais quoi faire... c'est l'heure d'arrêter de m'impliquer. je suis intelligente et sensible - juste trop prédisposée à tout pardonner, tout positiver

alors disons que je suis bête?