snowed in

"And the city council opened up the Council House in Victoria Square so that people who had abandoned their cars could walk there to get a cup of tea"

.

it snowed heavily in london this week, the most in ten years. i woke up to an amazing snowfall and white-out, and although it meant that walking (on slippery ice and snow and slush) became physically difficult, i felt an incredible sense of child-like wonderment at the wintry weather

i had thought that i would never see it snow like that in london, not during my university years anyway. with all the warnings about global warming and climate change, i was prepared for an uninspiring season. but instead, i found myself happily sinking my fingers into fluffy snow layers on cars, squeezing the frozen liquid through my palm. amazing simple pleasure

i guess nature has its way of surprising us!

.

yesterday ah-vette and i went to twickenham to watch the england v italy women's 6 nations match. while england won 23-0, i thought the scoreline wasn't a fair reflection of the heart that italy had put into their defence

it's an all-too-familiar reminder that history looks at facts, figures, and the obvious; here is almost no place officially for the heart, mind and soul

or maybe i'm just being melancholy!

.

œil pour œil

it was not a pleasant match, for once we had opposition whose backs actually knew how to run their lines and attack our wings. a 52-5 win for us does not tell the whole story, but i'm just relieved that we've pulled through. 2 matches in 4 days, sheesh!

.


wooo i woke up to what can finally be described as a white-out: SNOW. snow EVERYWHERE, and better still as i write this it is still snowing, and getting heavier every minute!

massive snowflakes cascading down from the sky - marvellous

do ya do ya do ya do ya

let it never be said
that romance is dead

- "ruby"_kaiser chiefs

.

re: sunday's match against the strand poly's medical division

never before has my face taken such a beating as it did on sunday

first i got semi-/quasi-concussed after my face came into contact with their hooker's thigh/knee in a tackle situation. i am left with a sore left cheek and seriously contemplating whether i might have done any internal damage

then, i was viciously palmed-/fingered-off by their centre, who smacked her hand right into my face, squashing my nose and whacking my head in general. ouch

having said that, it's good to know that we won convincingly, despite my awful awful passes, 30% of which found their way to the ground. i could make excuses for myself and say that it was the cold that did it (temperatures plunged to near-freezing, and a fog whipped up as the afternoon wore on), but deep down i know that i should've done better. tried to make up for it by making some big tackles, on wednesday it's back to the busa league so lets see some improvement all round at least!

so sick

of love songs
so tired of tears
so done with wishing

- "so sick"_ne-yo

.

yesterday, in a victorious 70-0 match against stg, i scored my first (and probably last) 2 tries and also sprained my neck. this is ironic especially since during the stg match last year, i scored my first (and only) BUSA try and promptly sprained my leg (when someone fell on it)

"you win some, you lose some" has never rang more true

good news is that we don't have any BUSA matches coming up so hopefully my neck will heal in a week's time. it's annoying to have to look straight constantly

.

it's going to snow in london soon. i hope

17-5

all that can be said of yesterday is that i am always making things hard for myself

all said and done

i have a ref for tomorrow! *beams*

.

i am tired of emotional upheaval. i am tired of being disappointed time after time after time. i just wish i knew when to say no, enough is enough. i just wish i could

.

when i came to london 2 years ago i would never have thought that life would turn out this way. beautiful/strange/traumatic/blissful/gritty/cultural/thelistgoeson

it is not who you are. it is what you do

31-5

rant: i am tired of responsibility. burnt out

actually, i'm just sick of looking for referees

it consumes my time and emotions - and it's getting increasingly difficult to find one

damn it!

i don't want our coach to have to ref us. again.

.

in other news, we won 31-5 last week in kent. but it was brutal, painful and defensive. when your forwards keep getting driven backwards in most scrums, it makes your job as a back pretty difficult. definitely one of the most frustrating games i have ever played. i think i've never made so many tackles before in any other match - at one point i made 4 consecutive tackles on 4 consecutive opposition attack phases. not only did i lacerate the back of a ear (it got squashed between my head and the ground. you get the picture), my fitness couldn't hold up and i was subbed off in the middle of the 2nd half

also, i woke up on thursday morning and realised that not only was i not able to raise my arms beyond shoulder level (muscle ache - OUCH), but my upper-body muscle mass had increased by 50% overnight. i blame it on sheer tackling

this week we're playing an agricultural college who are said to be not very nice opponents, and we are playing at home so i need to make sure we get a proper ref - argh argh argh

76-0

but winning isn't everything though. we could've played so much better, but instead relied on our faster runners to simply cut and break through

i made at most 3 tackles during the entire match - so i guess it was not much sweat

guess a win is a win

but still!

.

ok things to accomplish by this term

- visit the national gallery and enjoy afternoon tea buffet there (decadent i know!)
- visit the british museum. i've been procrastinating too long
- have a hampstead crêpe avec la grenouille. the ultimate indulgence, really
- score a try
- apply for jobs
- write an essay
- all my 3 course papers, obviously

what makes me happy?

paella baby

rugby training sessions are getting increasingly tough, what with big sprints conditioning and pt being thrown into the mix

therefore i thought i'd redeemed myself enough to pig out on paella at cuba libre in angel. right?

such a bad idea. the food was yummy as usual but gosh i was full afterwards. so sleepy and tired from training, i went to bed really early (by my standards, i.e. midnight) and woke up this morning feeling completely shitty

this is great, i am now aching all over from yesterday, we've got a match in 2 days' time and i'm so up for it but my tender hamstrings are feeling less responsive

on the plus side, the weather's getting more autumny now - love it. this means that while the chill factor is increasing, sunny clear skies are more abundant

i'm going to fall asleep again in a minute. but nooooooo i have a lecture to go to. argh

.

i shouldn't have to say now baby
that i believe in you

- "what took you so long"_emma bunton

hertfordshire

i love my rugby team. not because we seem to be on a winning streak last season and potentially this season, but because we are bunch of really nice people

this sounds like self-propaganda but it's the truth. no underhand studding/ slapping/ punching tactics from us on the field - it's something we've never really discussed as a team, but something unsaid that we all understand: fighting our way unreasonably to a victory without sportsmanship is just not something we'll stand for

yesterday we won 40-0 apparently. i say apparently because everyone, including our coach who was meant to be meticulously recording the scoring sheet, didn't have a clue at the end as to the final score!

i played for about 20 minutes and made a couple of good try-preventing tackles; however the 2nd tackle left me with a massive bump on my knee that hurt for all of 2 minutes. i was quite worried that i'd done some ligament damage like 2 of my other teammates (something of a jinx in our team last year), but when i turned out to be nothing more than a big "balookoo" (cool, i haven't used this word in ages), i wished i'd stayed especially since we started losing control of play and getting lots of useless mauls going. in the 2nd half i was touch judge, was a funny sight jumping up and down on the touch line with my luminous flag every time something exciting happened in the game (every, oh, 10 seconds)

oh well

i must say herts' backline has improved since we last beat them 2 seasons ago. having said that, my team's evolved even more tremendously, and i'm looking forward to more wins, and good rugby

.

today, i kept "snoozing" my alarm for about 1.5 hours before finally rolling (literally) out of bed at 8:30am. tired tired tired!

i was on the highway

2 months have flashed by really quickly and i can't believe i'm leaving tonight

i also can't believe how much i've changed - not during these 2 months, but over past 2 years

maybe it's what they call growing up?

nah

.

man, what a weekend
saturday night was the most fun i've had in a long while. granted, it was a tad hedonistic

oh well!

random memories:

blacks bbq
creed's my sacrifice. on repeat mode. 4 times
guinness and kilkenny
rum and coke, vodka lime
mos
farrer park (and needing to pee. o.m.g.)
one hot guy (damn he is hot)
"you are too hot for me" (hahahaha)
superman! batman! wonderwoman! spiderman!
"just relax!"
cold water
my brother
hangover. big big hangover
88
yoshinoya
big white retro earrings
mashimaro
wheelock place
camomile tea. yay
self-detrimental-ness
depravity
70
cactus road
car accident - nearly
laundry

.

the club has changed lots - i don't recognise the dynamics anymore. i think it has to do the departure of many old stalwarts, "the core" as ah-vette puts it. it's great that there is an influx of younger, new players

but i miss them. i miss the old days. it's not about feeling like a stranger or feeling alien - it's about old feelings that can no longer be recaptured, about a past that cannot be recalled upon. feels like part of me has died off, you know?

things change with time. that much i understand. i just didn't realise that certain things would become so unrecognisable

the entire time during saturday's gathering, i was haunted by a sobering thought. even though i will always identify my rugby roots with blacks, and love the club with all my rugby spirit, the club is no longer mine to love

i can only watch from afar, concentrate on my own game, and strive to do justice to the beautiful memories

.

ok back to packing. argh

canned heat

yesterday's rugby exploits have left me with infected knee wounds. we still have one more match to play today and i was looking forward to thrashing that other local club, but i have a rather low pain threshold and given that i am hobbling at the moment, maybe i should leave the field to team mates who are actually still able-bodied :( why do i always end up with injuries that render me a fucking liability?

.

it's always hard to swallow disappointment. but recently i've become increasingly blasé, and i don't know whether to rejoice or weep

fun fun fun

the weather has been awesome the past few days. check out today's sunny blue skies! i reckon a frolic in hyde park later is in order




.

tour to newquay - also awesome. more on that another time - sun sand surf and favourite rugby buddies; was marred by the bad news that i received mid-tour though. as we bbqed on the beach one evening, i took time out alone to gaze at the beautiful sunset and say a private goodbye

you got the love

you and i, we once had an ice stand-off that summery night at the botanical gardens. bare feet on ice, we huddled together (and i clutched a can of beer), seeing who could outlast the other and withstand the freeze of the ice for longer

in the end you called a truce.. in my mind i thought i won, but then again you will always be the champion



if rugby is the game made in heaven, then i must believe that the frog is right, that tu es au paradis

goodbye. we miss you.

into the night

so i've been camping out in the library every afternoon till just before midnight. and it's worked wonders. i now wonder where i've been all these months. the buzz of hard work, people swotting, friends mugging side by side (in my case, in all 4 directions) to create a karma field

.

in other news, english and welsh rugby will soon be overhauled as existing coaching set-ups get torn to pieces in a few days and new personnel brought in to salvage wrecks

.

embrasse-moi dessus bord
viens mon ange, retracer le ciel
j'irai crucifier ton corps,
pourrais-je dépunaiser tes ailes ?
embrasser, te mordre en même temps
enfoncer mes ongles dans ton dos brûlant
te supplier de me revenir et tout faire
ô tout pour te voir partir et viens!
emmène-moi là bas
donne-moi la main
que je ne la prenne pas
écorche mes ailes
envole-moi
et laisse-toi tranquille à la fois
mille fois entrelassons-nous
et lassons-nous même en dessous
serre-moi encore serre-moi
jusqu'à étouffer de toi

il y a des salauds
qui pillent le coeur des femmes
et des femmes qui n'savent plus trop
d'où l'amour tire son charme
papillons de fleurs en fleurs
d'amour en amour de coeur
ce qui n'ont qu'une étoile
ou ceux qui brûlent leur voiles

j'aime tes larmes quand tu aimes
ta sueur le sang, rendons-nous amants
qui se passionne, qui se saigne
j'aime quand mon ecorché est vivant
je ne donne pas long feu
à nos tragédies, à nos adieux

reviens-moi, reviens-moi
tu partira mieux comme ça
à force de se tordre,
on en finirai par se mordre
à quoi bon se reconstruire,
quand on est adepte du pire
malgré nous, malgré nous,
à quoi bon se sentir plus grand
que nos, deux grains de folie dans le vent
deux âmes brûlantes deux enfants

serre-moi encore serre-moi
jusqu'à étouffer de toi

- "serre-moi"_tryo

back

i don't usually list or refer to other people's blogs, but here's one that has captured my attention recently (which is not a good thing, as it's been hard to tear myself away from reading the archives)

with a catchy and incisive writing style, the blogger writes about her life in paris as an english single mum with a tumultuous relationship(s) history (hence the archives). topics range from do's and don't's in the parisian métro, to the (bulimic) particularities of her french female (ff) work colleagues

worth a read (and a laugh)

.

i've gone and done something to my back again. my body, while (touch wood!) relatively injury-resistant (in relation to all the rugby-playing) and of a good healthy constitution, tends to throw up surprising problems once in awhile

take the time i woke up one morning to find that my achilles tendon had swelled up painfully. the night before, there had been nothing, no sign whatsoever. so unless i kicked myself in bed, the chances of a tendon or muscle injury were v v slim. it was bad enough to make me hobble around in sandels and an ankle guard the whole day

but the very next morning, it was gone. kaput, no pain nothing

anyway i digress. so 2 days ago i was lying on my bed, got up awkwardly and felt the familiar painful twinge in my lower back. this first happened 6 years ago (i think) and now it comes once every few months, usually when i make an awkward movement involving my back. apparently lower back pains are quite common and lots of people get it from bad posturing and putting to much strain on that part of the spine while carrying heavy stuff etc

if the past is anything to go by though, i should feel no more pain in a couple of days max. however, i think it's about time i went to see the doctor and get myself booked into an orthopathic clinic post-exams

you know that i

tonight i randomly put on a pair of shorts that i hadn't put on in ages (at least 4 months)

and discovered that whereas i once struggled to fit into it, it's now possible for it to not touch my tummy, i.e. i've possibly lost >2 inches off my waist area

cheers to rugby

.

the one thing i don't like about rugby is the blessures it leaves on my legs

the bottom half of my body looks as if it's been subject to physical abuse (which i suppose it has, but it looks as though i've been beaten up - not cool)

.

i thought it would start today, but i should've known better. the drama never ends

girl from ipanema

want to write and blustery-on about a hundred and one things that have been rushing through my head all night - and all weekend

but it's half past one on a monday morning and i've yet to sort myself out for the week ahead, so what's the point

but then, maybe i can sort myself out here?

i wish that the half-truths spouted could really count for some fact, if only c'est une nouvelle semaine were to hold as much promise in grity reality

so lets see now

* varsity

i'm not freaking out about what is supposed to be thus far the biggest game of my uni rugby playing career, at least not as much as many of my team mates

this is to be expected as i've already played before in matches where i haven't been able to sleep the night before (not helped by high caffeine intake). jc touch rugby was competitive, the pressure's been on before and in the end, without taken any importance or gravity away from the upcoming clash,

it's just a match (come to think of it, so said patey once)

captaincy isn't easy, nor is it natural for me

it used to be though, 10 years ago!

have about 10 varsity-related things to sort out within the next 12 hours. my head's so heavy

* academia

more specifically, overdue homework. enough said. revision's in tatters (actually no it's non-existent), but frankly speaking with rugby having stepped up gear recently i've had to make potentially backfiring choices

the other day,

parents: how are your studies coming along?
me: erm.. it's pretty hard this year (a unanimous sentiment among my coursemates by the way) yeah i'm finding it a bit hard to cope but it'll be fine, there's no way i'm going to fail!

and that's in all honesty

* the amphibian's woes

frankly, the less said about this the better. suffice to say, internet research takes a hell lot of time and energy. so does commuting. thank goodness for bus 31

it's been frustrating me over the past couple of weeks, but this is nothing like the dark days of before. those days are over

* internships

i finally sent off an application the other day. felt overwhelming relief. and now for the next one.

* miscellaneous

laundry, tidying up my room, scheduling, doing an emergency audit of my accounts, keeping in touch with family

i'm abandoning all hopes of ever having a normal social life again (not in the next few months anyway)

ok that's enough sidetracking. back to work

funny writing

planetrugby.com has a high occurence of spelling mistakes for a journalistic sports website, but nevertheless the style of writing is often weirdly funny.

e.g.

"It's a little over 36 hours since WRU Chief Executive Steve Lewis ruined most of Britain's Rugby journalists' Valentine's dinners by announcing the departure of Mike Ruddock.

The dust, however, has not settled. It is not even falling to the floor. It is merely battling for airspace with the thick clumps of mud being slung by various parties at one another, as Welsh rugby once again falls apart like a mud hut in a rainstorm.

breaking monotony with monotony

according to weather.co.uk, local temperatures are hovering around 0°C

great, another freezing gloomy cloudy day weatherwise

trying hard to find joy these days

and fortunately, am finding it here and there and everywhere

at the moment have no one to watch this sat's match with though, which is a bugger, because a team mate pulled out. i can watch rugby all alone, no problem ever. but it's always more fun to yell along with someone, especially a friend. needless to say

.

last night we dressed up and went as cheerleaders to the union for sportsnite. it was the first time i'd gone out to sportsnite proper since, oh i dunno, last term's initiation?

oh and boat ball, who can forget boat ball where i slipped down the stairs etc