i was on the highway

2 months have flashed by really quickly and i can't believe i'm leaving tonight

i also can't believe how much i've changed - not during these 2 months, but over past 2 years

maybe it's what they call growing up?

nah

.

man, what a weekend
saturday night was the most fun i've had in a long while. granted, it was a tad hedonistic

oh well!

random memories:

blacks bbq
creed's my sacrifice. on repeat mode. 4 times
guinness and kilkenny
rum and coke, vodka lime
mos
farrer park (and needing to pee. o.m.g.)
one hot guy (damn he is hot)
"you are too hot for me" (hahahaha)
superman! batman! wonderwoman! spiderman!
"just relax!"
cold water
my brother
hangover. big big hangover
88
yoshinoya
big white retro earrings
mashimaro
wheelock place
camomile tea. yay
self-detrimental-ness
depravity
70
cactus road
car accident - nearly
laundry

.

the club has changed lots - i don't recognise the dynamics anymore. i think it has to do the departure of many old stalwarts, "the core" as ah-vette puts it. it's great that there is an influx of younger, new players

but i miss them. i miss the old days. it's not about feeling like a stranger or feeling alien - it's about old feelings that can no longer be recaptured, about a past that cannot be recalled upon. feels like part of me has died off, you know?

things change with time. that much i understand. i just didn't realise that certain things would become so unrecognisable

the entire time during saturday's gathering, i was haunted by a sobering thought. even though i will always identify my rugby roots with blacks, and love the club with all my rugby spirit, the club is no longer mine to love

i can only watch from afar, concentrate on my own game, and strive to do justice to the beautiful memories

.

ok back to packing. argh