sérieuse

is what i'm not

favourite xmas movie...

mine has got to be home alone, "a family comedy without the family"



who can resist the charms of a young macaulay culkin running amok around the house in glee at his family's absence, only to realise eventually that christmas without his loved ones isn't really all that great after all?

i wish my family were here

just as quiet

there's a place i dream about
where the sun never goes out
and the sky is deep and blue
won't you take me there with you

oh, we can begin again
shed our skin, let the sun shine in
by the edge of the ocean
we can start over again

- "edge of the ocean"_ivy

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i don't expect anything

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i picked up a ___ ___ infection again which brought me down to my own mortal fragility (teh: "life is fragile!")

strangely enough, when i was younger, the world seemed like a much smaller place

warm nights

it's a warm summer night

it's also mid-october

unfortunately the weather isn't the only thing that's displaced

i can't find my camera!

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miss me

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it's all about the little things

the strolls down gordon street, the rush to lectures, the tired trudge to euston station to catch the increasingly elusive bus 390

it's about the squish of cool mud beneath boot studs, the dull thud of rugby balls making contact with eager hands

it's about keeping the curtains drawn tight even during the day, warmness beneath a single duvet, the lingering smoke blanket that hovers

just don't let me down

i'm not saying it was your fault
although you could have done more

oh you're so naive yet so

how could this be done
your such a smiling sweetheart
oh and your sweet and pretty face
in such an ugly way
something so beautiful
that everytime i look inside

- "naive"_the kooks

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cours, boulot, dodo

je suis fatiguée!

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it's official. my life is disorderly and messy, aptly reflected by the state of my room

i'm not lacking any inspiration though

joyeux anniversaire à moi

i see nothing in your eyes

this year's dream destinations

- prague, czech rep
- tallinn, estonia
- geneva, switzerland
- normandy, france
- barcelona, spain
- salzburg/vienna, austria
- florence, italy

so many places, so few weekends ;P

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i was reduced to a sobbing mess as i read the last few chapters of kazuo ishiguro's never let me go

what a messed up world

dia-tribe

it's been an interesting evening scrolling through well-written and often humorous local blogs, perusing a pool of intelligent well thought-out opinions on current affairs in sg

here are just a few noteworthy ones that i stumbled across while searching for articles about the mr brown saga

waterchild (blog by a teacher. v v anon. what to do? teacher what)
mr brown (unceremoniously booted out from today newspaper as a columnist who "distorts the truth" *snorts*)
i-speak (v well-penned by a jc student)

so, an interesting, funny (laughed silly at some of the 760++hilarious critques and comments on the bhavani letter) and curiously depressing evening

depressing because on one hand, we have the government (generally) truly believing that it is doing its best to create a happy smiling nation state

and thus batting its eyes in unfortunately, almost pitifully sincere bewilderment when a character like mr brown pops into the limelight guns ablaze with satirical critiques of government policies (read: hikes in transport fares, schooling fees...)

the relevant ministry's response to his diatribe is to pull the plug on his column (well, not directly, but who doesn't know how much the local newspapers bow to political pressure?)

how heavy-handed! how misfiring! how high-browed a response (by accusing mr brown of encouraging "cynicism and despondency", the implication is that the average citizen who reads today is in possession of a white-washed mind prone to cynicism-programming, sorta like a canvas easily stained by earth-shattering irrationally outspoken articles)!

(2 things. if the income gap continues to widen then maybe the "average" citizen will soon become a rare breed. also, as much as i was aiming for dramatic irony in the above statement, sadly the implication may not be too far-fetched.. and that's just sad!)

i wonder if neil humphreys, another today columnist and author of the hilarious notes from a small island series of books on singapore life and culture, has thus far seemed escaped censure even though he pokes fun at singapore current affairs as well, week-in week-out?

granted, his columns are more light-hearted and usually drip with less sarcasm (though that's not to say that they don't occasionally pack a, er, mean punch). or perhaps - just perhaps - this "partisan politics" phobia (ppp) that the government seems to have can't be as readily applied to foreigners?

oh wait, if mr brown is accused of involving himself in "partisan politics" for ranting about kopitiam issues, then surely he must have directed his complains and criticisms towards the ruling party at some point in his article? surely??

but what is so political about complaining about rises in prices (and adding in a bit of satire/sarcasm/style, since one is equipped with the talent to do so)?

i for one regularly curse and swear whenever london's transport prices shoot up yet again (fact: in 2 years, the cost of my bus pass has risen by about 30%). open uk newspapers and you will find articles and letters complaining of every single damn thing as well (from the hose-pipe ban to the cost of maintaining the queen's lifestyle)

or just read the front page of a regular tabloid (viz daily mail, the sun) - yeah all 100 words - and observe the sheer bias/ prejudice/ sarcasm/ satire/ mockery/ etc (e.g. 23 july: "spineless bakri heads for hills" - referring to the fleeing muslim cleric)

you don't see the uk government trying to close down the newspapers!

no, because the political parties in the uk have more important things to do (well, most of the time anyway) than writing a complain letter about some satirical humour column - besides running the country, they're busy trying to run each other down, plotting for elections, coming up with "we-knew-this-was-going-to-happen" statements every time a member of an opposition party gets into hot water

in sg, being the only major political party in the country since, oh, the birth of the nation, has been a double-edged sword indeed. on one hand, the sg government has been able to push through policies and laws without much opposition. on the other hand, this sort of "we must make our citizens smile! :D! :D! :D! :D! :D! :D! :D!" mentality has become so compulsive - this sort of control-freak terror is so utterly undesirable in the government of a rapidly developing (hmm. arguable?) nation state

anyway, i thought i'd just air some of my thoughts here. seeing as usually i hardly have the patience nor concentration to write a long blog entry

(i only hope that this will not one day spell doom for my blog!)

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youtube is the new, er, cable? whatever... yay to podcaster power ;P

youtube pointer --> mariah carey singing journey's open arms live

dating from the mariah carey="white" ballad-y songbird days, as opposed to the current mariah carey="black" r&b artist era

an impressive change in style in any case, but who can match the heights of la madonna?

trop trop fort

mort de rire!

the funniest stuff has been spun out of the whole zidane head butt (coup de boule) affair

how about a pretty original music video?

or this super mario parody? *kaching*

or check out this brilliantly simple headbutt game...

I have done 86 out of these 158 things

got this from someone's blog

pick out all the things that you have done in your life. put numbers when you have done it, put x's when you have not. In your lj-cut, put, "I have done _____ out of these 158 things"

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[2] I have been on some sort of varsity team (varsity 2006 winners yeaahh!)
[3] I have run more than miles 2 without stopping (ah yes, the days of NAPFA)
[x] I have been to Canada
[4] I have been to Europe (let's see now..)
[5] I have watched cartoons for hours
[6] I have tripped UP the stairs
[7] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs (does a flight of 3 steps count? considering that i chipped my front tooth?)
[8] I have been snowboarding/skiing
[9] I have played ping pong
[10] I swam in the ocean
[x] I have been on a whale watch
[11] I have seen fireworks
[x] I have seen a shooting star (unfortunately not)
[x] I have seen a meteor shower
[x] I have almost drowned
[12] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear (ah yes)
[13] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again
[x] I have had stitches
[x] I have had frostbite
[x] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there
[14] I have stayed up til 2(and beyond) doing homework/projects
[15] I have been ice skating
[16] I have been rollerblading
[17] I have fallen flat on my face (hey, i play rugby)
[18] I have tripped over my own two feet (i'm sure it's happened before, i'm a klutz)
[x] I have been in a fist fight (no, i recollect palm-fights though)
[x] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight
[19] I have watched the power rangers (what can one expect; i have 3 younger siblings
[x] I attend Church regularly
[20] I have played truth or dare
[21] I have already had my 16th birthday
[22] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[23] I've called someone stupid.
[24] I've been in a verbal argument (= i am not mute)
[25] I've cried in school
[x] I've played basketball on a team
[x] I've played baseball on a team
[x] I've played football on a team
[x] I've played soccer on a team
[x] I've done cheerleading on a team
[x] I've played softball on a team
[x] I've played volleyball on a team
[x] I've played tennis on a team (hey where's rugby?)
[26] I've been on a track or cross country team (ahh the days of house sport)
[27] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life
[x] I've bungee jumped
[28] I've climbed a rock wall
[29] I've lost more than $20 (i think)
[30] I've called myself an idiot
[31] I've called someone else an idiot
[32] I've cried myself to sleep
[33] I've had (or have) pets (terrapins; "tiny" and "biggy"; we set them free in the mandai reservoir and i cried to bits)
[34] I've owned a Spice Girls CD/cassette (cassette baby!)
[35] I've owned a Britney Spears CD (ashamed to admit, but yes)
[x] I've owned an N*Sync CD
[36] I've owned a Backstreet Boys CD (well it was a pirated copy)
[x] I've mooned someone (no. my butt isn't decent enough for exposure)
[37] I have sworn/yelled at someone of authority before
[38] I've been in the newspaper
[39] I've been on TV
[x] I've been to Hawaii
[40] I've eaten sushi (mmm)
[41] I've been on the other side of a waterfall (in malaysia)
[42] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies
[43] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies
[x] I've watched all of the Rocky movies
[x] I've watched the 3 stooges
[x] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica
[44] I've watched Looney Tunes (again, having 4 younger siblings...)
[x] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers (since when were the rgs lockers ever big enough...)
[x] I've been called a geek (phew!)
[45] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade
[46] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it
[x] I've hugged my mom within the past 24hrs
[x] I've hugged my dad within the past 24hrs
[47] I've met a celebrity/music artist
[48] I've written poetry
[x] I've been arrested (hmm i don't think that counts)
[x] I've been attracted to someone much older than me ("much" is subjective)
[x] I've been tickled till I've cried (most of the time i've managed to "fight back" in time)
[x] I've tickled someone else until they cried
[49] I've had/have siblings
[50] I've been to a rock concert
[51] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it (i heart chopin)
[52] I've been in a play (those were the days...)
[x] I've been picked last in gym class
[x] I've been picked first in gym class
[x] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class
[53] I've cried in front of my friends (rare though)
[54] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages
[x] I've played Halo 2
[x] I've freaked out over a sports game
[x] I've been to Alaska
[55] I've been to China
[56] I've been to Spain (girona anyone?)
[x] I've been to Japan (i wanna go to hokkaido someday)
[x] I've had a fight with someone on AIM/MSN
[57] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face
[58] I've had serious conversations on any IM
[59] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me
[60] I've been forgiven
[61] I've screamed at a scary movie (yes hl you are not alone)
[x] I've cried at a chick flick
[62] I've watched a lot of action movies
[63] I've screamed at the top of my lungs (and can do so spontaneously!)
[x] I've been to a rap concert
[x] I've been to a hip hop concert
[x] I've lived in more than 2 houses (apartments yes)
[64] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[65] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than miles in a day (think Aberdeen-London. not funny)
[x] I've been in a car accident
[x] I've done drugs
[66] I've been homesick
[67] I've thrown up
[68] I've puked on someone (probably when i was a wee one)
[x] I've been horseback riding (i don't count the zoo rides)
[x] I've filled out more than 10 MySpace/LJ surveys
[69] I've spoken my mind in public
[70] I've proven someone wrong
[71] I've been proven wrong by someone
[x] I've broken a leg
[x] I've broken an arm
[x] I've fallen off a swing
[x] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight (i think i get motion sickness quite easily..)
[72] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies (i think i watched one)
[x] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school (is that possible?)
[x] I've lost my backpack
[x] I've come close to dying
[x] I've seen someone die
[73] I've known someone who has died
[x] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point
[x] I've done modeling
[74] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings (gross i know)
[75] I've taken something/someone for granted
[76] I've realized how good my life is (yeah)
[77] I've counted my blessings (literally)
[78] I've made fun of a classmate
[79] I've been asked out by someone and I said no
[80] I've slapped someone in the face (and am ashamed of it!)
[x] I've been skateboarding
[x] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend
[81] I've lied to someone to their face
[82] I've told a little white lie (little?)
[83] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane (involuntarily, i might add)
[x] I've fainted
[x] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not
[84] I've pushed someone into a pool
[85] I've been pushed into a pool
[86] I've been/am in love

indy facts

a free "facts and figures of modern life" supplement came with the independent newspaper today. lots of v interesting (mainly british) trivia, not least that the uk's crisp market is valued at about £2 billion. this is bettered by the chocolate market - £3.1 billion

1 in 4 women (16-49 years old) takes the pill

the u.s. federal deficit is set to increase by US$1 trillion annually (2006-2017). wonder where the money comes from

junkie rock star pete doherty dropped out of ucl after his first year, rejected a place at oxford uni and got something like 11A*s at o level and 4 As at a level. freak

or how about this other freaky fact: there are 117,619 frozen embryos in the uk

i could go on and on listing other fascinating details. but it's back to macroeconomics for now

eat cake

i used to partake in girly lamenting conversations that went along the the lines of "what if we end up unmarried one day?"

in groups of 2 or more, we (single) girls would remark upon newspaper articles claiming that the majority of female graduates remain single all their life. assessing the lack of male suitors in our lives, we'd mock-sigh in unison over the prospect of growing old alone with no life partner etc

and we were only 18

when i think back to those randomly funny conversations now, i realise it wasn't so much that we were worried about not being able to get married, wedding cake and all (although for one or two girls that may have been in fact the primary concern!)

no, our fundamental fears were

1) that we were unattractive to members of the opposite sex (which thus accounted for our singlehoods, so we thought), and would remain so for the rest of our lives

2) that we were in fact destined to be alone. forever

i can't stop grinning nowadays when i think about how irrational and ridiculous those thoughts were. but i grimace at the self-defeatism as well, and at the insecurities that festered within us

for reasons 1 & 2, i therefore used to think that i wouldn't ever be able to get married, and i promptly told friends so (and was rightly told off for "being silly"). in my mind, if by the age of 18 i was unable to form a meaningful non-platonic relationship with a guy (it didn't occur to me that maybe i wasn't looking in the first place), then perhaps, just perhaps, there was something not quite right with me?

[of course i knew that wasn't true (not completely anyway). and frankly i wasn't that bothered, life was way too busy anyways]

i currently reckon that marriage is not the most important for me; i'd rather be with someone i love, in a long-term unmarried arrangement, blissful and in love, than to marry someone that i deem "suitable" to be my husband. i guess what i really really don't want then is to be in love with marriage, i'd rather live in sin" with someone indefinitely, knowing that love's the only thing keeping us together (as opposed to, say, the marriage institution) - though i think my mum might have something to say about that!! ;)

that's not to say that i don't want to get married one day (for a minute i wondered why i'm even contemplating this issue, aren't i too young... then i realised i'm 20 years old and suddenly i'm thinking i'm too old for my own good...)

but i've come to realise that i'd give up marriage, wedding and all, in order to be with someone i truly love but can't marry

there, it took me this long rambling post to get to the key point. i only wonder if i won't change my mind one day


disclaimer: this is a random post on a random subject. anyone who reads too much into it should be shot (ouch, my foot)

back

i don't usually list or refer to other people's blogs, but here's one that has captured my attention recently (which is not a good thing, as it's been hard to tear myself away from reading the archives)

with a catchy and incisive writing style, the blogger writes about her life in paris as an english single mum with a tumultuous relationship(s) history (hence the archives). topics range from do's and don't's in the parisian métro, to the (bulimic) particularities of her french female (ff) work colleagues

worth a read (and a laugh)

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i've gone and done something to my back again. my body, while (touch wood!) relatively injury-resistant (in relation to all the rugby-playing) and of a good healthy constitution, tends to throw up surprising problems once in awhile

take the time i woke up one morning to find that my achilles tendon had swelled up painfully. the night before, there had been nothing, no sign whatsoever. so unless i kicked myself in bed, the chances of a tendon or muscle injury were v v slim. it was bad enough to make me hobble around in sandels and an ankle guard the whole day

but the very next morning, it was gone. kaput, no pain nothing

anyway i digress. so 2 days ago i was lying on my bed, got up awkwardly and felt the familiar painful twinge in my lower back. this first happened 6 years ago (i think) and now it comes once every few months, usually when i make an awkward movement involving my back. apparently lower back pains are quite common and lots of people get it from bad posturing and putting to much strain on that part of the spine while carrying heavy stuff etc

if the past is anything to go by though, i should feel no more pain in a couple of days max. however, i think it's about time i went to see the doctor and get myself booked into an orthopathic clinic post-exams

state of binge

it's 1am and i just had a hobnob binge. downed 5 at a go

this is not good i seem to be eating more and more now that rugby season has finished. is it that time of the month? is it that last winter is overstaying its welcome?

in other news, my internet connection has suddenly slowwwwed. makes me realise how much we in the modern urban society take convenience and zappy-speediness for granted. it may be a more productive lifestyle but i do wonder whether it's a happier one. or maybe it's a different kind of materialism-driven contentment

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in other other news, i've been revisiting disney cartoons in a nostalgic bid to relive my childhood. i watched part of lady and the tramp today, and what a classic animated movie that is. what's cool is as you grow up, you start noticing other things in cartoons that you never noticed while watching the film when you were, say, 8. like how the two canine leads have a one night stand on a hill-top (lol). or how jock the scottish terrier has a seriously scottish accent. next up: the fox and a hound. less renown, but extremely touching (or maybe it has something to do with the fact that i'm a softie)

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thanks for calling me this afternoon, it did me so much good to have a girly-girl chat about stuff. don't really have such dialogues anymore nowadays, given circumstances

i think the keyword for the rest of my uni life is discipline. sort that out, and i'll be sorted. at the moment i am living life on the edge, discipline is what i need to tip me over to the bright side

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if we hold on together

a whale of a time

there is a whale in the thames

how surreal, how bizarre!

it's funny to read londoners' comments along the lines of - "i've seen whales in a marine park/out a sea/on tv before.. but it's not something that happens too often in london"

haha

it's quite distressing at the same time as they're now fearing the worst for the whale. survival out of one's natural habitat is truly something against the odds. that goes for humans as well

winter blues indeed

been eating waayy too much these couple of days. first at work, then at this evening's bday dinner for teh

as if physical discomfort isn't enough, i've been struggling to get a grip on my extremely volatile spirits. just can't help myself, to quote handily and tragically c'est plus fort que moi

and it disgusts distresses and dismays me

i guess this is what i get 'cos i'm just brutally honest with myself at the end of the day

which is more than can be said of..

it's a huge weight off my shoulders already, that's for sure. but what about the incubus (in more than one sense) on my mind?

nope it's not going to go away on its own

dammit

boys don't cry

what's keeping me going

- that catchy intro melody to abba's "gimme gimme gimme"/ madonna's "hung up"
- sufjan stevens
- death cab for cutie
- toast. with nutella. as and when i want it (i.e. 3am this morning)
- the oc & gilmore girls
- lovely friends and flatmates; i'd be forever lost by now without them
- my family, by just being there. across oceans, miles away, but there. at least i know where they are
- nightly meltdowns. because i'm worth it, and need it
- amel bent k-maro & ls
- very random msn conversations with my sister, dee, jx..
- rugby (never mind that it's stressing me out)
- working
- strangely enough, the financial times
- france riots & the implications
- revisiting plumb and finding more than "stranded"

blue skies

3 young bloggers have been arrested for blogging in an incendiary mannner wrt the france riots..blurring of society and space (virtual?), i think i may actually write up one of my course papers on this whole fench riots crisis

apparently the different cités are kinda competing to see which has the most success in rioting

what a nightmare deluded teenagers rising up against a deluded government

.

in other news, the radiators in my room and the bathroom have been repaired! no more sauna effect :)

émeutes

been reading reports about the riots in france and it is absolutely mortifying. death, torched cars by the thousands, battered buildings...

then there are french blogs, which present a less detached, more personal viewpoint of what's been happening, with insightful comments from people of all walks of life. so many political implications (talking on msn to a parisian friend at the moment, who predicts that "a new republic is not far"...)! talk about that other kind of extremist le pen being elected in 2007 after this national crisis, about reviewing laws and social institutions to finally attend to the desperate needs of the unemployed and discriminated young non-white arab and african suburban/ghetto inhabitants.

and how unnerving the timing is...personal issues aside, i'm actually finding myself wondering what the frog's views are on this, given that he is implicated on many levels just by associations of nationality ethnicity and culture

and nope the frog has gone incommunicado on me again. and i shouldn't care, it should be over for me at least, though reality is much more complicated.

all-nighter!

london in the rain, hotel costes

perfect for this rainy night

only slightly (0.1%) closer to getting my econs assignment done. but hey at least i've got my rusty mind creaking on the workings of the IS-LM vis-à-vis the stock market crash

i honestly think i'm getting dumb

rich a famous

where i work,

just found out the other day that one of the regular customers who comes every 2 days to the café who always orders a croissant with cheddar cheese and ham just happens to be

the ceo of hamley's, only the huge toy department store off oxford circus

and that chris martin apparently lives (or knows someone who lives) in an apartment right next door to the café, 'cos him and his black jeep have been spotted a number of times

.

in other news, have moved into new flat, and things mostly going well except for shower hose that doesn't work (don't ask me to explain how i bathe) and minghing carpet in bedroom etc

we've got ghanaian neighbours, they're friendly and family-ish, yesterday they had a celebration of some sort from morning to night, and ooh they've got 2 10-month old twin girls, who are sooooo cute.. got chatting to them over the fence and they invited us over to join them. they had this prawn 'keropok' thing that i just couldn't get enough of ;)

can't say the same about another neighbour, who vulgarly scolded us 2 days in a row for making noise at 2am in the morning

which we didn't!

you win some you lose some i guess